Were we not friends?
Did we not laugh
Were we not friends?
When we met.
You were angry
And I understood.
I welcomed you to my
Because I wanted to dress you
Your name was Joy
But then, you had none.
Were we not friends?
You cried and told me
You loved me
And wished we
Could share Paris.
Mine was Henry
And yours Obediah.
We held them in our pockets
And I remember
how you cried when he died.
I was sorry it was not
Because I loved you
And wanted your kitten
Were we not friends?
Were we really not?
We had no courage
And this is what it takes
And be mean
And be silent
But still in love
We were friends.
I know you.
A life must not be filled with
We must work to keep
The love in bodies here
As long as it is.
The time for
How we loved as we did
How we wrote to one another.
The passion and poetry and
effort and yearning and …
could you be here
three blocks away
and not appear?
I hate you.
I hate you.
If I see you in a next life
I will look away
I will not reach for your
and kiss you and make love
to your eyes
and I will not remember you.
You broke my heart
and you have made love
Why you will not grow.
Why you will not succeed.
Because you are unwilling
You will not go through.
To the other side.
You run away
and never know
And even that I am bothering
that I am bothering
is to love you.
There is good and there is bad.
Don’t kid yourself.
There is good.
And there is bad.
You have a choice every second
who to hang with.
Give the good a name.
Give the bad a name.
For the good pick the name of someone
you love, and for the bad, pick a name of
one you hate with your whole heart.
Think about it a minute. It will help you.
When you are enjoying your life, feeling hopeful.
expectant, supported, enthusiastic,
inspired, full hearted, pretty, open, loved
and loving, you are hanging out with
your bestie. You are with your friend.
You are with the one you love.
You are in her arms, under her gaze and standing
And when you feel hopeless, and scared, and
limited, and ugly, and shut down and lost and
poor, and as if everything is against you, you
are under attack by that b*tch you hate.
And in that moment you get to decide if you are going
to let her get you.
Are you going to let her run your life and take you down
or are you going to realize that it is up to you
to turn back and get to the one you love and who loves you?
And if you don’t know who she/he is
I’ll help you with that.
Its not tough.
The one who hates you says No. Don’t. You can’t,
You won’t. Forget it. You are nothing, worthless.
Why bother? You are ugly, you are fat, you look
I mean, really!?
She makes you feel miserable.
Why do you talk to her/him.
Why do you live with her? Him.
Why would you listen to that?
The one who hates you lies.
She lies about you.
She does not want you to feel good.
Even writing about her brings me down.
Let us not give her any attention.
The one who loves you puts her hand to your
back and says, Yes. Go. Do. Be.
You are amazing!
She makes you feel fabulous.
She makes you laugh.
She makes you feel like you are beautiful and that you
can do anything. And when you leave her you want to
skip down the path and reach for the stars and she
tells you…..you will.
You will reach the stars with your beauty and talent,
your goodness, your willingness and your humility.
You will reach the stars with your love.
You are worthy and lovable and you deserve
She makes it safe to be happy.
She makes it safe to feel good.
She loves you and believes in you and
reminds you that who you are is perfection.
She reminds you that who you are is one of a kind,
unique in all the world and as such you have a
perfectly planned future and all the gifts you
Need to arrive into it.
And she tells you also that you have not done
anything wrong, and even if you have, she tells you
that she still loves you anyway because she knows
that you are human and this makes her love you
Gosh. It’s a no brainer.
I mean, it doesn’t take a genius to decide
who to hang out with today. Does it?
Now, the more time you spend with the good friend,
the better you feel about your life and your self,
the more jealous the bad friend becomes.
Right then, when you are hippity skippity, she
will try to trip you up. She will try to hurt you
Don’t let her. Don’t give in to her.
Look her in the face and say.
“Back off B*tch” Back off. I am not
She really hates that.
Laugh at her.
Laugh at her and her little feeble attempts to
try and get you.
And even more so, let her efforts to bring
you down support you in your knowledge that
you are truly on your way to being your best
self and to doing great good things.
Today is my birthday.
That I am sharing that with
you all is a wonder.
I have not wanted to celebrate my
birthday since before college.
This had nothing to do with age,
and much instead to do with
the discomfort of being celebrated.
Imagine that coming from a former
Well, this year has been rather challenging
and deeply triumphant.
Today I not only celebrate myself, but
I welcome any well wishes anyone
wants to send my way.
I am so happy to be here, and I am
so grateful to be alive and learning,
prospering and celebrating.
On a personal level, I am single for
the first time since 2002.
And finally, that feels so good.
I realize how very afraid I have been
of being alone.
I reached for men
to fill a need to feel loved,
and they served only to distract me
from really loving myself.
The time lost was expensive.
I see now that we must not shop
for love when we are hungry.
We must feed ourselves all the love
we need so that we may pick
those that are our equals in love
Professionally, I am
steering this company toward solid
and authentic growth.
It is tricky to grow slowly and steadily
funded only from within.
It would be easier to puff us up, but I am
committed to an ego-less expansion.
Time will honestly grow this company
through the continued interest and pleasure
of you, my clients.
Last night I went for a long walk after dark.
I felt a sense of joy surging through me as
I listened to music while climbing up hills and
When I couldn’t contain myself, I danced.
It feels amazing to be single and free,
safe and alive.
The return of joy to my heart, un-related to the
love of another, nor as a function of circumstance
is an unparalleled feeling and a great
gift to receive at this time.
I know to thank God. And trust me, I do.
I know too that God is made manifest
to me through the love of friends, and
family and all of you beauty girls who
have welcomed, honored and celebrated
me all the while.
I am grateful to be in
so thorough an embrace of all your
The rain is quiet
and makes the morning soft.
I tip-toed out
and into the garden.
The wet was good on
In the small concrete of my
an apple tree lives
and today I see it is bent over
with the weight of its fruit.
Gorgeous little apples,
green and pink
and then the red ones
ready for picking.
I am impressed with it.
And on my fence
I looked to see grape leaves,
wet and slick.
Were they there last year?
And like a great surprise,
better than a birthday,
hiding under big leaves
I saw a bundle of jewels
in bright green, perfect and healthy
and the artwork of a genius.
My vine has made grapes.
Gorgeous fat bundles of them.
This has made me happy.
I am touched by the modesty
of a small little apple tree
in an uncelebrated back yard
bent over with abundance and
humbled by its creativity.
And I am moved by a vine
reaching and wrapping
around a fence
that runs along a path rarely walked
and how private it is
in its delivery of perfection.
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Table './shareend_downtown/hitlog' is marked as crashed and should be repaired(Errno=145)
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WHERE hit_datetime < "2013-11-19"